A Not So Regular Crossover
by XxItS420SoMeWhErExX
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby's friendship falls apart when Rigby accidentally informs Cloudy Jay about Mordecai. Meanwhile, Grunkle Stan and the rest of the crew become impoverished and need a place to work and stay. Rated M for profanity, marijuana use, and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1: Irritation

** AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a remake of my first FanFiction. Contains strong profanity, use of marijuana, and sexual content. Viewer discretion is advised.  
**

**I do not own Regular Show nor Gravity Falls. Regular Show belongs to J.G. Quintel and Cartoon Network. Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch and Disney.  
**

* * *

**Irritation  
**

****_I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation_

**-Whoopi Goldberg**

* * *

****Mordecai and Rigby were sitting on the couch playing _Xtreme Xcape_ on their video game console. As usual, Mordecai was winning. He felt as though he needed to get back at Rigby for cheating at the game when they made that bet back in the day. Rigby had a look of irritation on his face. He knew he was going to lose but he figured that he could try his best anyways.

"Dude, you're gonna lose!" gloated Mordecai. His player was at the bottom of the building while Rigby's player was at the third floor.

"You're only winning cause you're player one!" complained Rigby.

"No. It's because you blow at this game." said Mordecai. Mordecai's player made it out of the building. "OOOOOOHHHH! THREE IN A ROW! THREE IN A ROW!" exclaimed Mordecai. Rigby was irritated. The thought of losing yet again made Rigby scowl. The duo continued to play until Benson walked in.

"Hey guys, I need you to spray the cart and clean the gutters." requested Benson.

"Awww what?!" whined Rigby. "I don't wanna! That job is lame!"

Benson started to turn red.

"Ohhh boo hoo!" mocked Benson. "I'm Rigby! The whiny ass who WILL GET FIRED IF I DON'T GET MY ASS OUTSIDE!" Benson stormed off. Mordecai looked at Rigby.

"Come on dude." said Mordecai. "We gotta go do what Benson asked us to do or we'll get fired."

Rigby was irritated with the fact that Benson made him get off the game just to clean the gutters. Since him and Mordecai started to work at the park, he's been doing less and less work. Mordecai lately has been picking up the pace. He was actually more than willing to do his work to get paid on a weekly basis. Rigby on the other hand still wants to slack and be a wild teenager like in his high school days. It's not Benson's fault that Rigby's a slacker.

Mordecai started to get irritated at Rigby.

"Dude! We have to get to work!" yelled Mordecai.

"Fuck work! I'd rather stay here and play video games." Rigby replied. He then picked up the controller and started playing more video games. Mordecai rolled his eyes and went outside.

Meanwhile, Benson was in the kitchen sitting on the table. Skips came into the kitchen. Benson could trust Skips cause he's his most loyal worker in the park.

"What's going on Benson?" asked Skips?

"Skips, I need your advice." pleaded Benson. "Mordecai is doing alright at this point but it's Rigby I'm concerned about. Actually, more like irritated with him. Rigby has no work ethic at all! I can't fire him cause Mordecai will leave too. I'm actually becoming really impressed with him. What do you have to offer Skips?"

Skips thought about it for a moment.

_Well Benson is refusing to fire Rigby. _Skips thought. _I should think of something that could be fair to Mordecai and Rigby and keep Benson content. Maybe if I suggest to hire some new workers, Benson will have to follow it and this situation will be all settled down._

"Well?" Benson prompted.

"The only thing I can think of is to hire some new workers at the park." suggested Skips "Maybe it'll give you more of a content outlook on your workers instead of yelling at Rigby so much."

"I have reasons to yell at Rigby, Skips." explained Benson. "He's nothing but an immature child in my eyes. Rigby is one of those people that at first I could trust to get his job done but he gave me the wrong impression when he and Mordecai were slacking off. Now, Mordecai is actually doing his job while Rigby continues to slack."

"I know a few people from a town that are looking for jobs." admitted Skips. Benson urged a smile of relief when Skips announced this.

"Really?! Where is this town?" asked Benson.

"You're not gonna like it." Skips flatly told his boss.

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**End of Chapter 1! Chapter 2 is coming! Please review and tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2: Change

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: What will happen next? Read to find out. **

* * *

**Change  
**

_You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past. The only way to learn the secret is to press play._**  
**

**-Jay Asher  
**

* * *

Meanwhile at Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan was at the Mystery Shack counting the profits. Things weren't looking good. Grunkle Stan gave a look of despair as Wendy strolled in.

"We're going out of business." Grunkle Stan willingly admitted waiting for surprises and yelling. Wendy on the other hand was shocked. She didn't know what to say about this unexpected news. Just as this was announced, Soos walked in.

"Are you serious?" asked Soos. "Why are we going out of business?"

"The profits are too low." explained Grunkle Stan. "We can't afford to keep this place running! The government is going to shut us down." Grunkle Stan lay his face on the table. He was just as stressed as Soos and at times, just as speechless as Wendy. "What am I gonna tell Dipper and Mabel?" Grunkle Stan muttered.

The Mystery Shack was their home. Without it, Dipper and Mabel would become orphans. They are only 12. They don't deserve to lose their home and become orphans and rot in the streets. Grunkle Stan thought about improvising.

"Dipper?! Mabel?!" Grunkle Stan called "Get out here!" Dipper and Mabel both ran down the stairs. Dipper was in his usual outfit of shorts, a t-shirt and his hat, rubbing his eyes because he just woke up. Mabel on the other hand was more energetic but still in her nightgown. Grunkle Stan sighed. "Kids, sit down." Dipper and Mabel both sat down. Grunkle Stan paced around a bit and eventually he sat down and sighed heavily. "Kids, I need you to pay attention closely and to not interrupt me because this is very important."

"What's going on?" asked Dipper calmly. Grunkle Stan looked at his great nephew with stress.

"Look, I know your parents sent you here to stay an all but there's something we have to discuss."

"Are you kicking us out?" Mabel asked with worry.

"No! Not at all." Grunkle Stan quickly replied. "Look, the Mystery Shack is going into shambles. I can't afford to pay for it anymore. The government is going to shut us down and evict us as well. We're losing our business as well as our home." Dipper's eyes widened and his mouth dropped. Mabel on the other hand instantly burst into tears and fell onto her knees on the floor. Dipper got down on one knee and rested his hand on his sister's shoulder with the same look on his face still. Grunkle Stan looked down and sighed heavily in stress. The kids knew they were being impoverished. The phone started ringing. Grunkle Stan answered it.

"Hello?" he replied. "Are you serious? You mean? Ohh my god that's amazing! I'm so glad you took up our offer! Thank you so much! Have a good day." Grunkle Stan hung up the phone. He was smiling now. "Kids, I've got some decent news."

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**That's it for Chapter 2! Sorry it's short so far. It'll get longer. Trust me. Chapter 3 is coming soon. Review and tell me what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3: Meeting

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here's chapter 3. Sorry that the first two were short. I was introducing the Regular Show characters on chapter one and the Gravity Falls characters on chapter 2. This chapter is when they will meet up. **

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**Meeting  
**

_The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there's any reaction, both are transformed._

**-Carl Gustav Jung**_  
_

* * *

Skips hung up his phone while driving on a country road. Benson was very confused on where they were going.

"Skips, where are we going?" asked Benson. "We've been driving for a good few days now. I'm very confused."

Skips passed a town sign.

**Gravity Falls Welcomes You**

"Gravity Falls?" Benson wondered. "Don't tell me." Benson then grabbed the map and skimmed through looking for this "Gravity Falls". He figured out what state they were in. He turned red. "Oregon?! Skips! This is wasting gas!"

"I told you that you wouldn't like this." Skips flatly said.

Benson wasn't pleased about the fact that Skips drove all the way to Oregon just to pick up these mysterious applicants for grounds keeping jobs at the park. In fact, he was just plain furious. At Skips! That's a first.

"Skips, turn this truck around now!" yelled Benson.

"No Benson." Skips replied calmly. "We're already in Gravity Falls so we might as well keep going until we make it to the house." Benson sighed angrily and looked out the window. They were entering woods. Benson looked around for any sign of civilization. He found nothing. They were in the middle of nowhere.

"Where are we?" Benson asked. "This doesn't seem like a town to me."

"We're at the driveway now." Skips told his boss. He turned the truck into a dirt driveway and drove until they saw a shack. He saw two kids outside. Skips rolled down his window. "Hey kids!" Skips called. The two kids ran up to the yeti.

"Yes?" a boy wondered.

"Where's your mom or dad?" Skips asked.

"Back at home." the boy said. "Our great uncle is inside. Do you wanna see him?"

"Yeah. Someone in charge." said Skips. The boy ran inside to go get his great uncle. The other kid was a girl. She smiled at Skips. Skips looked at the girl with his plain face and then he looked out the wind shield.

"Hi." the girl said.

"Hey." said Skips. The two of them remained silent for a little while. The girl then decided to speak again.

"I'm Mabel Pines." said the girl. "What's your name?"

"Skips." said Skips. He remained silent again. Mabel stood there smiling. The boy came out with his great uncle, a teen girl, and a man. They all climbed into the truck.

"I'm Stan. This is Dipper, Wendy, Soos, and Mabel." introduced the great uncle.

"I'm Benson, and this is Skips." introduced Benson.

"When are we getting to the park Grunkle Stan?" asked Dipper.

"We'll be there." said Grunkle Stan. Skips started to drive away from the Mystery Shack. The Pines waved their last goodbyes to the place. They were on their way to the park.

* * *

**I know I promised a longer third chapter but that was all I could think of at the moment. I'll try to make a longer chapter for chapter 4. **


	4. Chapter 4: Warm Welcome

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry if this story seems slow so far. I'm trying to slowly progress to make the story longer and better. **

* * *

**Warm Welcome  
**

_Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life._

**-Confucius  
**

* * *

Mordecai and Rigby were outside cleaning the gutters. Rigby was whining about the job being too gross while Mordecai had a look of annoyance on his face.

"Rigby, quit your whining." said Mordecai "You're acting like a fucking little boy."

"This shit is gross!" yelled Rigby.

"Well you'll get it done faster if you stopped whining." Mordecai replied. The two of them continued to work until they saw a truck pull into the driveway. It was Skips with Benson and the others. Dipper and Mabel jumped out.

"Uhh dude? Who are they?" asked Rigby. Mordecai looked at the two kids and was just as confused as Rigby.

"I don't know dude." said Mordecai. "Whoever they are, they better not be working here." Benson looked up at the rooftop.

"Mordecai! Rigby! Come down here!" called out Benson. The duo climbed down the ladder. Benson walked up to them with a look of relief on his face. Dipper and Mabel walked up to them. "These two are your new co-workers." explained Benson. "Give them a nice welcome cause they will be working with you two from now on. I also have three more people coming out of the car." Grunkle Stan, Wendy, and Soos climbed out with their stuff. Mordecai and Rigby gave Dipper and Mabel an irritated look.

"What are you two looking at?" angrily asked Rigby.

"Hi raccoon!" said Mabel.

"Shut up." demanded Rigby. He wasn't too pleased with the fact that kids were working at the park now. Mordecai wasn't happy either but he started to calm down about it and act mature.

"I'm Mordecai and this is Rig-" Mordecai started.

"Shut up dude!" interrupted Rigby. "I don't want them knowing about me!" Rigby stormed off. Dipper gave Mordecai a look of confusion.

"Don't worry about him." said Mordecai. "He can be a jerk at times."

"I noticed." said Dipper. "My name is Dipper and this is my sister Mabel."

"Hi birdie!" greeted Mabel.

"Hey there." said Mordecai.

"Over there is my great uncle, Stan." said Dipper. "This is my friend Soos, and...the most beautiful girl in the world, Wendy." Dipper sighed as he stared at Wendy. Mordecai looked at Wendy.

"Dude, she looks like she's about 15 years old. How old are you?" Mordecai asked.

"Twelve." Dipper replied. Mordecai looked at Dipper weirdly.

"Uhhh that's kinda weird." said Mordecai.

"Well she's hot." Dipper admitted.

"If you insist dude." Mordecai replied. "Then again, it's love. I'm in love with this one girl named Margaret."

"Is she hot?" Dipper wondered.

"Ohhh definitely." said Mordecai. "She's one of the most hottest girls I've ever met. I did kiss her one time, but it turned out to be bad. It was a chili dog that caused it. I should have never eaten that chili dog. Otherwise, I probably would have fucked her in her car."

"That's hot." said Dipper. "I'm trying to win Wendy's heart. She's really nice and really hot."

"Well dude, I have another story to tell you." Mordecai started. "I remember this one time, I wanted to see the movie _Love Bot 2 _with Margaret. I went to the coffee shop where she works. I saw this other dude on one knee and Margaret yelled 'Yes dude! Yes!' I was depressed for the longest time until Rigby hooked me up with this girl named Cloudy Jane. I told her that I didn't wanna be more than friends with her. She thought that I started to like her until I finally asked Margaret to _Love Bot 2_ when I found out that dude was actually her cousin. CJ got pretty pissed when she found out. Tried to kill me. I never wanna mess with someone like her again. I actually hope she's gone for good. Like out of town."

"Whoa." Dipper said. That was all he could say. "Well some guy named Lil Gideon is stalking my sister. I'm glad he's not around. That's a thing about Gravity Falls I won't miss."

"You mean Gravity Falls, Oregon?" asked Mordecai.

"How did you know?" wondered Dipper.

"Dude, Gravity Falls is a fucked up town." said Mordecai. "A lot of weird shit happens there. Legit dude."

"Well, It's my home." said Dipper.

"No dude." disagreed Mordecai. "This is your home now. Welcome to the park. Come out back with me. I've got a welcoming gift for you. Rigby wouldn't like that I'm doing this for you but I don't give a fuck." Dipper smiled and walked with Mordecai. "You're also gonna like our pal Thomas. He's a cool guy. He's new as well but not the newest worker like you and your sister." said Mordecai. The duo walked to the snack bar. Thomas was cleaning the counters. "Hey Thomas." greeted Mordecai.

"Hey Mordecai." Thomas replied. "What's up?"

"Ohh not a whole lot." said Mordecai. "I wanna give Dipper a 'little gift'" Thomas smiled.

"Yes dude!" Thomas exclaimed. "I'll get my piece." Thomas walked into the house to grab his piece. Dipper wondered what the goat meant by "a piece." It was quite odd. Thomas came back out with a case in his hand. He opened the case which contained a glass sherlock pipe. Dipper was flabbergasted by the piece's appearance.

"That's awesome." said Dipper.

"Thanks man." said Thomas. "I bought it from a pot dispensary. I gotta say, it's made some good use for me."

"Alright dude. I got the shit." said Mordecai. "Dipper, be prepared for a fun experience. No one will know." Mordecai took out a bag of weed. He opened it up and took some out. He took Thomas' bowl and started to pack it. After he was done, he took out a zippo lighter and lit the weed up. He took a hit and he passed it to Dipper. "Alright dude, just breathe into the pipe and inhale the smoke." instructed Mordecai. Dipper did what Mordecai told him. When he inhaled, he immediately started coughing.

"Whoa!" uttered Dipper as he managed to breathe from coughing. He then started coughing again as he passed the bowl to Thomas. Thomas lit the weed after it stopped burning for a little while. He then took a hit and he managed to hold the smoke into his lungs. After a nice smoke session, Dipper was really baked. Mordecai and Thomas on the other hand were stoned but not as stoned as Dipper. Dipper started to howl with laughter during a period of silence. Mordecai and Thomas smirked.

"Dude, Dipper is blazed." Mordecai said to Thomas with a grin. Dipper smiled and then started laughing again.

"Dude that's hilarious." said Thomas. Dipper continued to laugh at nothing. "Dipper, you think you've had enough?" asked Thomas. Dipper was panting from laughing to much as he managed to acknowledge Thomas.

"Ohhh man!" panted Dipper. "I want more of that. This is fun." Mordecai smiled and took out his weed again. After about 15 minutes, the trio was set. Dipper was laying on the ground. "Why do my wrists hurt?!" asked Dipper.

"Because you're lying on them." said a blazed Mordecai.

"How did you know what I was thinking?!" asked a baffled Dipper. Thomas started laughing loudly.

"Ohhh man Mordecai." laughed Thomas. "This is some good shit you got here." Mordecai opened a bag of Cheetos.

"Why is there a leopard on the Cheetos bag?" asked Mordecai. "Wait. It's a cheetah. CheetAH. CheetOS. There is so much beauty in the world." He then hugged the bag. Eventually, the trio went back into the house. Rigby was sitting on the couch playing video games. Dipper came up to Rigby and hugged him.

"Do you live here?" Dipper asked. "This couch is so sweet. Everything's great." Rigby glared as Dipper continued to hug him. Mordecai came out of the kitchen with a can of soda and his Cheetos. Mordecai sat next Rigby and munching on the Cheetos.

"Dude...dude look." Mordecai said as he took a Cheeto out. "It looks like a butt." Mordecai then started laughing.  
Rigby looked at Mordecai weird. Thomas then sat on the other side of Rigby tossing his phone up and down.

"Uhhh guys? Get Dipper off me or else, I'll throw him off." demanded Rigby. Mabel walked in and saw her stoned brother.

"Hi guys!" greeted Mabel. "Dipper, Wendy wants you."

"Haha!" laughed Mordecai. "She wants you man." Dipper walked up to his sister.

"Wha-?" wondered Dipper. "Uhhh what does she...uhhh...want?"

"She wants to talk to you about something." said Mabel. She walked away. Dipper staggered up from the couch. He then started to walk like a newborn fawn learning how to walk. He then walked out of the house and saw Wendy. He walked up to her and tapped on her shoulder. She looked over.

"You wanted to talk to me?" asked a stoned Dipper.

"I wanna talk to you in private." said Wendy.

* * *

**What do you think is gonna happen next? Find out in chapter 5. It'll be here momentarily. **


	5. Chapter 5: What is Love?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I was typing this chapter when I accidentally clicked out of the tab when I meant to click out of the Facebook tab. Two thoughts entered my mind when it happened. Thought 1: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCK ! Thought 2: This will make a hilarious rage comic.**

* * *

**What is Love?  
**

_We loved with a love that was more than love._

**-Edgar Allan Poe**

* * *

Dipper and Wendy walked to a private area. The two of them were silent for a little while. Dipper wanted to know what Wendy was going to ask him. Wendy finally managed to speak.

"Dipper..." Wendy started. "I just wanna know...uhhh...do you have...a crush on me?" Dipper's eyes widened. He started to look around nervously. He then scratched the back of his head. Wendy started to get worried. She thought that she was making Dipper uncomfortable. "Dipper?"

"Uhhhh..." said Dipper nervously. "I gotta go." He ran off looking away from Wendy as he ran. Wendy frowned sadly as she walked the other way. Benson was trimming the hedges as Wendy walked by him sadly.

"Wendy, what's wrong?" asked Benson.

"Nothing..." muttered Wendy. "It's Dipper."

"What is he doing?" wondered Benson.

"Nothing bad." Wendy replied. "I just wanna know if he likes me or not." Benson gave Wendy a look of wonder.

"Do you like him?" asked Benson. Wendy scratched her head and then she put her hands over her eyes. Benson gave a look of confusion. Wendy uncovered her eyes revealing that she started crying.

"Ohh fuck." said Benson. "What did I do?"

"No...it's not you." said Wendy. "I think...I might. I just don't know. He's so young yet he's funny, sweet, and cute."

"Well Wendy," Benson started. "I'm not much of a love expert but I know what it's like. I was with probably one of the best girls in my life." His voice started to crack. "Veronica..." Benson turned around and sobbed quietly. Wendy, still crying hugged her boss.

"It's gonna be okay Benson." comforted Wendy. Benson nodded. Mordecai and Rigby walked over and saw Wendy and Benson crying.

"Dude," said Mordecai. "This is so bizarre."

"I know." agreed Rigby. "It's not everyday you see Benson crying. And he's crying with that girl."

"We gotta give them some privacy." said Mordecai. The duo walked away.

"I'm gonna talk to him Benson. I will do it." said Wendy. Benson nodded again. He then walked towards the house. Wendy was alone with her thoughts.

_What am I gonna do? I really do like Dipper but now that I see Benson all lonely, I don't know what to do. What if Dipper nor Benson like me back? _

Wendy sighed and walked away. It was inconvenient because Muscle Man and High Five Ghost came around.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Muscle Man. "Fives bro, would you fuck her?"

"She looks young." said High Five Ghost. "I don't think I should go through with it."

"You wanna know who else wouldn't go through with it?" Muscle Man asked. "MY MOM!" they then high fived.

"Do you mind?!" yelled Wendy.

"Geez bro calm down." said Muscle Man. "Can't take a joke?"

"I'm not in the mood to hear a green fat man yell 'my mom'" insulted Wendy. Muscle Man then squealed and ran off.

"Don't listen to her Muscle Man." said High Five Ghost as he started to follow his friend. "She's just a bitch." Wendy then sat down and sighed. She then felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked over and it was Dipper.

"Wendy..." Dipper started. He sighed. "I love you." Wendy teared up and hugged Dipper.

_Word_, Dipper thought. He then smiled as he hugged Wendy.

_What am I gonna tell Benson? _Wendy thought. _I love him too. I want Benson as much as I want Dipper. I'll just go with the flow and see Benson when Dipper is not around. _

**Meanwhile**

Mordecai and Rigby were sitting on the porch. Rigby had a cigarette in between his fingers. He took a drag.

"I gotta quit these things." said Rigby. Mabel walked over and sat next to Rigby. "What do you want?"

"Do you hate me?" asked Mabel.

"Yeah I do." said Rigby. Mordecai punched Rigby.

"Shut the fuck up dude!" yelled Mordecai. "She didn't do shit to you."

"You shut the fuck up!" yelled Rigby.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP OR YOU'RE FIRED!" yelled Benson. He was standing at the door. Benson had bags under his eyes. They were also really bloodshot.

"Whoa Benson." exclaimed Mordecai. "What happened to you?"

"Awww is little Benson crying?" taunted Rigby. Benson looked down.

"Rigby shut up!" yelled Mordecai. "Leave Benson alone. Leave Mabel alone! Just stop hatting on the new people! Can you believe it Mabel? Just a little while ago, Rigby went to the lengths of pulling a prank on Soos.

**Cutaway starts**

Rigby shook a can of soda laughing as he was doing it. He saw Soos walking in.

"Hey Soos, wanna soda?" asked Rigby.

"Ohhh good." said Soos. "I could use something to drink." Soos opened the can and the soda splashed all over his face. Rigby laughed as hard as he could. "Fucker." said Soos. He walked away.

**Cutaway ends**

"Hey I thought it was funny." said Rigby. "Soos is new so I gotta torment him."

"Just because there are new people, that doesn't mean that you have the right to torture them." said Mordecai.

"Fine," said Rigby. "I'll prank someone else. I know! I'll prank Eileen." Rigby ran off.

"Ugh! I'll go get him. Mabel you wanna come?"

"But Rigby hates me." Mabel said.

"I don't care." said Mordecai. "Rigby needs to get to know you guys so you're coming. I'll go get Dipper." Mordecai climbed into the cart. He turned the ignition, put it in drive and then started to drive off. Mordecai kept driving until he encountered Dipper and Wendy on a bench. Dipper was on Wendy kissing her with both hands on both of Wendy's breasts. Mordecai's mouth dropped open. "Whoa dude." said Mordecai. He then drove away from them. He came back from the house. "Looks like Dipper's not coming. He uhhhh...wants Rigby dead. Let's go." Mabel climbed into the cart and Mordecai drove off.

"Where are we going?" asked Mabel.

"The coffee shop dude." said Mordecai. "Rigby is being a real dick." They ended up driving out of the park gates. A mysterious figure in a trench coat was by the gates. He looked up revealing the figure to be a boy that's Dipper and Mabel's age.

"I'll get you soon my Mabel." said the boy. "I, Lil Gideon, will have you soon" Lil Gideon then walked towards the park.

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**That's all for Chapter 5. Chapter 6 will arrive momentarily. **


	6. Chapter 6: Margaret

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: A little funny moment. "I'm John Wayne from the first Thanksgiving pilgrims. Happy Thanksgiving pilgrims." Haha! I had to. **

* * *

**Margaret  
**

_I can't believe how hot she is. Makes my insides feel like knotted twists  
_

**-Mordecai **

**(Episode is _Butt Dial_ from Regular Show)**_  
_

* * *

Mordecai and Mabel were sitting in the cart. Mordecai was driving.

"So uhhh Mabel?" asked Mordecai. "What do you do for fun"

"I like Smile Dip!" said Mabel.

"What's Smile Dip?" asked Mordecai.

"Let's just say that it's powdered LSD." said Mabel.

"You're an acid head?" asked Mordecai.

"In powdered form." admitted Mabel.

"Whoa." said Mordecai. "You're one tough 12 year old."

"Ohhh yeah." said Mabel. "I've done it for a little while. My mom always thought that I was just sleeping."

"I don't see why Rigby hates you and your brother."

"I look out for my brother." said Mabel. "He and I may be twins but I'm still older cause I was born a few minutes before he was. I know that he likes Wendy. It was me that made Wendy talk to him. He told me before we left home that he really wants Wendy to love him. So I went up to her and told her so many positive things about my brother. It made her want to go out with him."

"Does that explain why I caught your brother frenching Wendy and squeezing her jugs?" asked Mordecai.

"Probably yeah." said Mabel. "I thought my brother wanted Rigby dead?"

"No." said Mordecai. "I lied to you cause I didn't want you knowing that your brother was messing around with Wendy, but you told me that you wanted them to so that's why I told you. I thought I'd give Dipper some time with Wendy." The duo made it to the coffee shop. They walked inside while a mysterious figure was watching. The mysterious figure revealed itself to be a cloud girl.

"Not today Mordecai." said the cloud girl.

"Hey! Stop copying me!" yelled a voice. It turned out to be Lil Gideon. "Only I can do the mysterious figure in the trench coat gag!"

"Shut up kid." said the cloud girl. Rigby was walking and saw the cloud girl.

"Hey CJ." greeted Rigby.

"Ohhh hi Rigby." said CJ.

"What the hell kind of name is CJ?" asked Lil Gideon.

"It stands for Cloudy Jane!" said CJ.

"Geez little boy leave CJ alone." said Rigby. "Anyways, I gotta go inside. I gotta pull a prank on a girl who's obsessed with me. In fact, she better not be wearing her glasses. Damn! That gives me a hard on."

"I see." said CJ. "Well can you get Mordecai for me?"

"Would you mind getting Mabel for me?" asked Lil Gideon.

"Yeah sure." said Rigby. Rigby walked into the coffee shop. Mordecai and Mabel were sitting at the table. Margaret was standing there talking to them.

"Here you go Mordecai." said Margaret. "French vanilla coffee with extra extra sugar."

"Thanks Margaret." said Mordecai.

"And for you Mabel, here's a hot cocoa, laced with Smile Dip." said Margaret.

"Thank you!" said Mabel. She then drank it and her eyes immediately dilated and she passed out. Mordecai looked down at Mabel and then looked at Margaret.

"So how are you Margaret?" asked Mordecai.

"I'm doing great." said Margaret. "Hopefully I'll get out of work soon. I wanna head home so I can finish a crossover story I've been working on."

"On what shows?" asked Mordecai.

"Normal Program and Oxygen Woods." said Margaret.

"Are you talking about the show that's about a cat and a dog working at a zoo and get bossed around by a soda machine?"

"Yeah." said Margaret. "That's Normal Program."

"Nice." said Mordecai.

"Ohhh blah blah blah." Rigby interrupted.

"Geez Rigby." said Mordecai. "How long have you been standing there?"

"About a few minutes." said Rigby. "By the way, CJ is back and she wants to talk to you."

"CJ?!" gasped Mordecai. "Fuck dude! How does she know where I am?!"

"I told her." admitted Rigby.

"What the fuck dude!" yelled Mordecai. "Why the fuck would you do that?!"

"I didn't know you were trying to avoid her!" said Rigby. "Mabel, some little boy wants you as well. I suggest you get out there or I'll throw you out there." No reply. "Fine then." said Rigby. He picked up Mabel and threw her outside.

"I suggest you leave!" yelled Mordecai.

"I didn't know dude!" explained Rigby. "Don't get mad at me just because I unknowingly told CJ that you were inside and that I was to get you for her."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" screamed Mordecai. He then punched Rigby. Rigby got up and his right eye was closed. He then punched Mordecai on the jaw. The two of them started throwing punches at each other. Margaret grabbed Mordecai. Eileen came out and saw the fighting. Mordecai broke free and picked up Rigby and threw him. Rigby's body hit Eileen causing her to spill coffee on herself and Rigby. Both of them yelled in pain. Mordecai picked up Rigby and pinned him to the wall. "I suggest you GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!" screamed the blue jay. Margaret grabbed Rigby and put him down. She then restrained Mordecai.

"Mordecai please stop yelling." requested Margaret calmly. Mordecai struggled to get out of the robin's grasp. Eileen was sobbing softly cause of the very hot coffee. Rigby walked up to Eileen and picked her up.

"I'm outta here." said Rigby. "I'll be back when you can stop being a whiny douchebag." Mordecai struggled more violently when he heard Rigby say that.

"Mordecai, calm down." said Margaret calmly.

"I'LL KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH!" screamed Mordecai. Margaret turned Mordecai around and kissed him.

"Did that help?" asked Margaret. Mordecai smiled bashfully.

"Yes." he said.

"Good." said Margaret. "Wanna come over later?" She then grabbed Mordecai's crotch.

"Hell yeah." said Mordecai.

"Good." Margaret said smiling. "Be there at around 8."

"Alrighty." said Mordecai. He then walked outside. Mabel was gone. So was CJ, Lil Gideon, and Rigby. "Fuck. I lost Mabel." He noticed that the cart was gone. "And Rigby stole the cart!" yelled Mordecai. "That soon of a bitch!" Mordecai ran towards the park.

* * *

**Did Rigby really just betray his friend? Will Dipper go all the way with Wendy? Will Mordecai show up to fuck Margaret? Will Benson snap out of his depression over Veronica? Will Wendy choose between Dipper and Benson? Will Pops show up? What ever happened to Grunkle Stan and Skips? Find out in Chapter 7.**


	7. Chapter 7: It's Over My Brother

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys! I just wanna give a warm thank you to JessieLover and MarkellBarnes360 for following this story and being supporters. Very much appreciated. **

* * *

**It's Over My Brother  
**

_A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again.  
_

**-Unknown**

* * *

At the park, Benson was sitting in his room looking at a framed picture. Tears landed on it. It was a picture of him and his ex girlfriend Veronica. He then turned red and threw the picture. It shattered into two breaking apart a much younger and hippie Benson and his ex girlfriend like his heart shattered when Veronica left him. He got up and walked out of his room. Skips showed up.

"Geez Benson." said Skips. "You've been in there for hours. What's wrong?"

"I'm taking a mental health day." said a gloomy Benson. "Pops is gonna be in charge while I'm absent." Benson walked past Skips. He closed the bathroom door. Skips went downstairs. He saw Lil Gideon with a passed out Mabel.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Skips.

"I'm Lil Gideon." introduced Lil Gideon. "Can you wake this girl up for me? I have no clue if she's dead or passed out." Skips examined Mabel. He noticed that her pulse was still going but really fast.

"Her pulse is still going but it's going fast." explained Skips. "She's alive. It seems like she's under the influence of a drug. It sure as hell ain't weed."

"What drug?" asked Lil Gideon.

"I think it's Smile Dip." said Skips.

"How can you tell?" wondered Lil Gideon.

"I was hooked up on that shit in the 1960s." admitted Skips. "Plus, I noticed the dilated eyes. She must be tripping complete balls right now."

**In Mabel's World**

Mabel was running around in a Disney like world. She was running around a castle.

"I'M IN HAPPYLAND!" screamed Mabel excitedly. The castle belonged to Ariel from _The Little Mermaid_.

"Please don't destroy the vase" pleaded Ariel. There was a crashing sound. "She destroyed the vase." said Ariel in defeat.

**In the real world**

"I gotta try that shit." said Lil Gideon. "Well I'm gonna try to get her to wake up."

"Try all you want." said Skips. "It won't work." Skips skipped out the door. He encountered Wendy with some of her shirt unbuttoned and her hair a mess. "Geez Wendy." said Skips "Did you just get done having sex?"

"Maybe." smirked Wendy.

"Mhm." said Skips. Thomas came up to Skips.

"Where'd Dipper go?" asked Thomas.

"He fucked me hard!" said Wendy.

"Nice!" said Thomas. "Am I next?"

"You wish." said Wendy. She walked away. Dipper came back with a smirk on his face. Thomas gave Dipper a look of I know what you did. Dipper nodded with the same smirk on his face. The duo walked away as Thomas pulled out his case and bag. Skips sat down.

"Where's Mordecai?" asked a female voice. Skips turned around. He saw that it was CJ.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Skips.

"I'm Cloudy Jane." said CJ. "Have you seen Mordecai anywhere?"

"No clue." said Skips. "Maybe he went to the coffee shop."

"I checked there but his raccoon friend threw out a little girl and then came out with a black eye and a bloody nose." said CJ. "I think he's trying to hide on me."

"Only way to find out is to check." said Skips. CJ walked away. Soos, Grunkle Stan, and Pops came out.

"And that's the story of how I was mugged by two waiters." said Pops finishing a story.

"That must suck." said Grunkle Stan.

"What he said." said Soos. Pops nodded in agreement.

"Now I want you two to squeegee the windows and trim the hedges." requested Pops. Soos and Grunkle Stan got to it. Pops sat next to Skips. "What a day." said Pops.

"You're telling me." said Skips. "One minute, Benson tells me that he's taking a mental health day. The next minute, I'm explaining to a little boy about drugs. The next minute, Wendy comes back and admitted to Thomas that her and Dipper had sex, then Thomas and Dipper went to go smoke some pot. It's been odd."

"Benson seems quite depressed." said a confused Pops. "I think since the new employees have been working at the park, things have been quite bizarre."

"Some cloud girl is looking for Mordecai." said Skips. "Hell, I don't know where he went. Rigby looks like he's been beat up."

"Very weird." said Pops. Mordecai came back with sweat dripping down. His feathers were a mess.

"Where the fuck is Rigby?!" yelled Mordecai.

"I thought I saw him in the house." said Pops.

"You know some cloud girl is looking for you." said Skips.

"Damn it Skips!" yelled Mordecai. "I'm trying to avoid her!" Mordecai went into the house. He saw Rigby. "YOU!" screamed Mordecai.

"Ohh hey Mordecai." said Rigby calmly.

"You and me! Right now!" demanded Mordecai. Rigby laughed.

"Ohhh Mordecai." said Rigby. "I told you that you need to stop being a douchebag."

"You're dead!" yelled Mordecai. He punched Rigby. The two of them started throwing punches at each other. Mordecai threw Rigby at the wall. They kept fighting until Benson ran downstairs.

"ENOUGH!" screamed the gumball machine. "THIS FIGHTING ENDS **NOW!**" Mordecai and Rigby started yelling at each other until Benson blew a fuse. "**BOTH OF YOU ARE FIRED!**" screamed Benson.

"But Benson-" started Mordecai.

"**GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!**" screamed Benson.

"Please!" pleaded Mordecai.

"**NOW!**" the gumball machine screeched. Mordecai and Rigby both walked out of the house.

"What happened?" asked Skips.

"We just got fired." said Mordecai.

"All because of this little shit." said Rigby.

"You wanna say that to my face you fucking backstabber?!" yelled Mordecai

"Oooh, I'm so scared!" said Rigby sarcastically.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" screamed Mordecai.

"I HATE YOU TOO!" screamed Rigby.

"I NEVER WANNA TALK TO YOU AGAIN!" screamed Mordecai. Mordecai and Rigby, two best friends since childhood are no longer friends. They both went their separate ways without exchanging goodbyes. Pops frowned as Mordecai and Rigby walked away from each other forever.

* * *

**Whoa. Such a long lasting friendship ends so abrupt. Chapter 8 is on it's way.**


	8. Chapter 8: One Year Later

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's weird. I could never figure out why my mind becomes a total blank at times.**

* * *

**One Year Later  
**

_Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror. It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving_**_.  
_**

**-Martin Amis**

* * *

A year has passed since Mordecai and Rigby ended their friendship. Mordecai has been living with Margaret. Since him and Rigby stopped being friends, he's able to focus more on living his life. About 6 months ago, Mordecai started to work at a video game company as a tester. He receives a whooping $15.00 an hour making more money than he ever did at the park. Rigby on the other hand has been impoverished. He's been looking for a place to stay for about 10 months. Since he got fired and him and Mordecai stopped talking, his life has been falling apart. He stayed with his parents for about 2 months and then he was kicked out. Ever since, he's been looking place after place and no luck has come upon the raccoon. Meanwhile at the park, Dipper, Mabel and the others from Gravity Falls are still working there. Benson has snapped out of his depression. Mabel snapped out of her trip. Lil Gideon was thrown out of the park by Dipper. Dipper and Wendy have been going out since Mordecai and Rigby stopped being friends. Cloudy Jane is still looking for Mordecai.

**At Mordecai's house**

Margaret was washing the dishes. Mordecai walked into the house.

"Phew." said an exhausted Mordecai. "Some day."

"The dishes are almost done baby." said Margaret.

"Good." said Mordecai. "I need a beer." Mordecai kissed Margaret and sat on the couch. He turned on his X-box 360. With all his success, he can afford the newest technology. Margaret gave Mordecai a can of Budweiser. He opened it and took a sip. "Yep." uttered Mordecai. He then took out a cigarette and lit it up as he drank his beer.

**In the street**

Rigby was sitting in a cardboard box. He had grown a good size beard since he was impoverished. His body was unhealthily thin. A man walked by.

"Spare some change sir?" begged Rigby. The man ignored him. Rigby frowned as he still sat in the street. A familiar boy walked up to him. He put a dollar in the cup. Rigby looked up. "Dipper?" Dipper had gotten taller. He started growing a mustache.

"Hey Rigby." said Dipper.

"Why are you here?" asked Rigby. "I thought you'd hate me for all the times I treated you so bad."

"I know you're homeless dude so I decided to help." said Dipper.

"Thank you." said Rigby. He started coughing violently. "It's been rough."

"You sound terrible." said Dipper. "You look and smell terrible too."

"Don't remind me." said Rigby. "It's my fault Dipper. It's been a year. I've got no home. I'm cold and scared. I feel like I'm gonna die any second."

"Well the thing is, you gotta make up with Mordecai again." advised Dipper.

"That's not gonna happen." replied Rigby. "I blew it Dipper. If I didn't mention to CJ about Mordecai, I wouldn't be out here slowly dying as every minute goes by."

"Maybe there's still hope for you." said Dipper. "Do you and Eileen still talk?"

"Yeah." said Rigby. "Why?"

"Have you given any thought about asking Eileen if you can stay with her?" asked Dipper.

Rigby thought about it.

"You know what?" started Rigby. "I totally forgot about Eileen. Fuck! And to think, I could of had food and shelter. Pick me up and take me to Eileen's please." Dipper picked up the dying raccoon. He started to walk towards Eileen's house.

**Meanwhile at the park**

Benson was standing at the top of the porch giving jobs to his workers.

"Alright, we got a lot of work to do today so here are your jobs." started Benson. "Skips, clean the fountain. Muscle Man and High Five Ghost, trim the hedges. Mabel, man the snack bar. Soos and Wendy, clean the gutters and squeegee the windows. Stan, rake the leaves and clean the cart. Thomas, mow the ball field. Chad and Jeremy, mow the lawn." Jeremy is Mordecai's replacement. He's an ostrich who received a degree in The Institute of Technical Technology along with his possum best friend Chad who is Rigby's replacement.

"We'll get right to it." said Jeremy. All the workers got to their jobs. Pops came out of the house.

"I think Chad and Jeremy are my best workers Pops." said Benson. "I made the right choice a year ago."

"Chad and Jeremy are quite the workers." said Pops. "I'm proud of your decision Benson."

"Mabel! Come here." said Benson. Mabel walked up to her boss.

"What is it Benson?" asked Mabel.

"Find your brother so he can help you with the snack bar." requested Benson. "Here's the keys to the cart. You're 13. You can drive a cart."

"I need help." said Mabel.

"Alright." said Benson. "I'll help you get started." Mabel climbed into the cart. "Okay, here's what you do." instructed Benson. "First, turn the key to start the cart." Mabel turned the key and cart started to purr. "Good." praised Benson. "Now see that clutch right there?"

"Yes I do." said Mabel.

"There's an arrow pointing at a P." said Benson. "It means that the cart is in park. Move the clutch to where the arrow points at the D. It means that the cart will be put into drive." Mabel put the cart into drive. "There you go." said Benson. "Now gently press your foot on the gas. It's the peddle on the right. Be slow and careful." Mabel gently pressed the gas and the cart started moving. Mabel squealed in fear. "Press the brake." said Benson. Mabel pressed the brake and the cart stopped moving. "Move over. I'll sit in the front and help you." said Benson. Mabel started to drive.

"Benson, I'm scared." said Mabel.

"Drive a little faster." instructed the gumball machine calmly. "You'll be okay." Mabel pressed on the gas a little more. The cart was moving at a safe pace. "Just keep going that speed until we get to the gate." Mabel kept driving until she made it to the gate. She slowly stopped the cart and then turned left. She started to get used to driving the cart. They kept driving until they saw a familiar figure at a house.

"Dipper? Rigby?!" said Mabel. She stopped the cart and she got out. "Dipper, what are you doing?" asked Mabel.

"I found Rigby." said Dipper. "He's dying Mabel. I'm just taking him to Eileen's." Benson walked up to his former worker. Rigby started coughing violently.

"B-Benson?" uttered Rigby. "M-M-Mable? H-H-How did you guys find us?"

"We have to take Dipper back to the park." said Benson. "You look and sound terrible."

"Being h-homeless doesn't help any" said Rigby. "I-I'm here for E-E-Eileen." Dipper walked up to the door and knocked on it. Eileen walked out.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I'm Dipper Pines." introduced Dipper. "You know Rigby the raccoon right?"

"Yes?" wondered Eileen.

"He needs you right now." said Dipper. "He's dying. He needs a place to stay. He was fired from the park a year ago and he's been homeless ever since."

"Bring him here!" exclaimed the mole. Dipper carried Rigby towards Eileen. Rigby was wheezing as Eileen picked him up. "I'll take care of him."

"Th-Th-Thank you." said Rigby. Eileen smiled and kissed the dying raccoon. Eileen carried Rigby into the house.

"Alright Dipper." said Mabel. "Benson wants us to do some work at the park. Let's go." Mabel climbed into the driver's seat. Dipper sat in between Benson and Mabel.

"Since when can you drive?" asked Dipper.

"Benson taught me." replied Mabel.

"You lucky bitch." said Dipper.

"Another thing to prove that I'm older." said Mabel. Mabel started the cart and started to drive back towards the park.

**At the house in the park.**

CJ was inside of Chad and Jeremy's room, the room where Mordecai and Rigby slept when they were working at the park.

"Alright Lil Gideon." said CJ. "We need to trace some evidence to see where Mordecai went."

"Or Mabel." said Lil Gideon. "You're forgetting that you are helping me track down Mabel. I had her right in my arms a year ago but her stupid brother Dipper stopped me. I'll have soon."

"I need to figure out where Mordecai went." CJ found a picture of Jeremy. "Mordecai's with an ostrich?"

"No he's not." said a voice. It was Skips. "What are you doing in Chad and Jeremy's room?"

"Where's Mordecai?" asked CJ.

"He's been fired since last year." said Skips. "I don't know where he's been since then. Sorry."

"Damn." said CJ in defeat. "Let's get out of here Lil Gideon."

"Fuck." said Lil Gideon. "I'll find you soon my Mabel."

"Mabel?" said Skips. "You mean Mabel Pines?"

"Yeah." said Lil Gideon. "Do you know her?"

"She works here." said Skips.

"I'm gonna stay here CJ." said Lil Gideon. "You go find Mordecai."

"Benson doesn't want any non employees in the house." said Skips. "I suggest you go with her before he comes back."

"I shall do no such thing!" exclaimed Lil Gideon. "I want Mabel Pines and I want her now!"

"Get out of here NOW!" yelled Skips. Lil Gideon refused to leave the house. Skips got mad and grabbed the boy. "I said 'get out.'" said Skips angrily.

"You win this time yeti." said Lil Gideon. "But mark my words, I will be back." Skips threw Lil Gideon out the window. He landed safely in the fountain. "I'll have you now Mabel." said Lil Gideon angrily. "I will be back!"

* * *

**That's it for Chapter 8. Chapter 9 will be coming soon.**


	9. Chapter 9: Margaret's Request

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows. Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows. And I've been milking and plowing so long that even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone.**

* * *

**Margaret's Request  
**

_That pleasure which is at once the most pure, the most elevating and the most intense, is derived, I maintain, from the contemplation of the beautiful._

**-Edgar Allan Poe  
**

* * *

Mordecai drove into the driveway. He got out of the car and walked into the house. Margaret ran up and hugged the blue jay.

"How was your day baby?" asked Margaret.

"Exhausting." said Mordecai. "Sometimes, playing a video game for 10 hours straight can be very tiresome. Luckily for me, I have the day off tomorrow."

"That's good." said Margaret. "You know, since you and Rigby stopped talking, you've been more happier and content."

"Well I'm much more successful without that immature child." said Mordecai. "I for one actually work now. Rigby is just a waste of space."

"The only thing you're forgetting is that you and Rigby grew up together." pointed out Margaret.

"I know." replied Mordecai. "I realize that Rigby's been my best friend since the both of us were 5 but that's over now. I've moved on. I have you." Mordecai kissed his girlfriend. "I'm gonna go grab a beer. Want some wine?"

"Actually, wine doesn't sound too bad." accepted Margaret. Mordecai took out a can of beer and he poured some wine in a wine goblet for Margaret. He handed her the wine as he sat down next to his girlfriend. Margaret rested her head on the blue jay's shoulder.

"Did you miss me cupcake?" asked Mordecai.

"Yes I did." said Margaret.

"Well I'm here now." said Mordecai. He turned on the TV. He started to watch what was on. "I love this. Tom Hanks. This guy is fucking hilarious. Everything this guy says is hilarious."

"I have aids." said Tom Hanks on the TV. Mordecai cackled loudly.

"You're funny baby." said Margaret. "I have a...request."

"What's up?" asked Mordecai.

"We've been going out since you and Rigby stopped talking. I understand that I never got to you that night I promised you so I wanna make it up to you."

"Wha-?" Mordecai said surprised.

"Yes." said Margaret. "I want you."

"Correct me if I'm wrong but I think I'll be more exhausted from this than work. Score!" Mordecai said in victory. Margaret lay down. Mordecai lay on top of her. The two started kissing passionately. Mordecai slowly removed Margaret's shirt. Mordecai removed Margaret's bra and he started rubbing her breasts. She uttered a moan as she felt Mordecai rubbing her breasts. Eventually, he took off her pants and underwear. Mordecai then inserted his hard dick into Margaret's tight pussy. She squealed as she felt Mordecai penetrate her. Mordecai started thrusting making Margaret moan more and more.

"Ohhh Mordecai!" moaned Margaret. "Harder!" Mordecai listened to his girlfriend and fucked her harder. Margaret kept moaning as Mordecai kept fucking her. Eventually, Mordecai started to pant quickly.

"Ohhh fuck!" moaned Mordecai. "I'm cumming!" He then ejaculated his cum inside Margaret's pussy. He groaned loudly as it happened. He then relaxed on her. The duo were both panting. Mordecai eventually rolled off from Margaret. They eventually got dressed.

"That was amazing." said Margaret. Mordecai lit a cigarette.

"Awwhhh yeah." said Mordecai. I did good. He took a drag. He felt like a god.

"Baby, we did this so I have another request." said Margaret.

"What's that?" asked Mordecai.

"I want you to start talking to Rigby again." requested Margaret.

"No! No way!" said Mordecai angrily. "You wanted me to fuck you so I can make up with Rigby?!"

"I did something for you." said Margaret. "Now you do your end of the deal."

"You used me!" yelled Mordecai. "What the fuck?!"

"I'm sorry Mordecai." said Margaret. "I want you and Rigby to be friends again. This has gotten way out of hand. It's been a year! I'm sure CJ has forgot about you."

"I can't believe you Margaret." said Mordecai. "And to think, you were the one. I gotta go."

"Mordecai wait!" cried Margaret.

"I'm sorry Margaret but you used me." said Mordecai. "I can't be around you right now." Mordecai walked out of the house. Margaret teared up as she watched Mordecai leave. Mordecai got into his car and started it. A gun pointed at his head.

"Drive." said the person.

"Who are you?" asked Mordecai.

"I think you might remember me." said the person. "Now DRIVE!" Mordecai started driving from his house. "Head to the park." said the person.

"Look dude," said Mordecai. "I don't know who you are but you better let me go or you'll get what's coming to you."

"I don't think so Mordecai." refused the person. "In fact, I want you to think back at a simpler time."

"You better not be Rigby nor CJ!" yelled Mordecai.

"I think I might just reveal myself." said the person. It then took off it's mask.

"It can't be!" said a surprised Mordecai.

* * *

**Who do you think the mysterious person is? Find out in Chapter 10.**


	10. Chapter 10: Revelations

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's not everyday you see a go sign ^-^**

* * *

**Revelations  
**

___When I was a young man, I had liberty, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it. Many decades would pass before I understood the meaning of all three. Now, in the twilight of my life, misunderstanding has passed into contentment. Love, liberty, and time, once so disposable, are the fuels that drive me_ forward.

**-Ezio Auditore da Firenze**

* * *

Mordecai couldn't believe his eyes. He stared into the eyes of the figure who was seconds away from shooting the blue jay.

"Why?" asked Mordecai.

"I think you might know why." said the mysterious figure. "It is what I'll do for you. To win you. It's what I," the figure revealed itself to be CJ. "Cloudy Jane does. Now drive. I'll call your precious Margaret. Too bad Rigby isn't here to save you."

"YOU BETTER NOT YOU FUCKING BITCH!" yelled Mordecai. "I WON'T TAKE THIS FROM A GIRL MADE OF WATER VAPOR!"

"That was weak Mordecai." said CJ. "Head to the park! Now!" Mordecai started to drive. CJ took Mordecai's phone out. She dialed Margaret's number. "Now keep your mouth shut or I'll shoot!" yelled CJ. Margaret answered the phone.

"Hello? Mordecai?" wondered Margaret.

"You may think this is Mordecai." said CJ.

"You! Where's Mordecai?!" asked Margaret now worried.

"I've got Mordecai right where I want him!" said CJ. "A gun to his head!" Margaret was now crying.

"Please let him go!" pleaded Margaret. "Please just leave us alone!"

"I don't think so Margaret." refused CJ. "In fact, how would like it if I BLEW HIS HEAD OFF?!" Margaret sobbed loudly.

"Please! Please let him go!" Margaret bawled. "I'll do anything!"

"Nope! Not gonna happen." said CJ. "In fact, I'll give him back when I'm happily married to him. Mordecai WILL be my husband. Good day now." CJ hung up the phone. Margaret broke down. She then dialed another number. It started to ring.

"Please Rigby! Please pick up!" cried Margaret. Rigby picked up.

"Hello?" answered Rigby.

"Rigby!" Margaret bawled. "Please help me!"

"Whoa Margaret." Rigby said. "Calm down. What's wrong?"

"It's CJ!" cried Margaret. "She's holding Mordecai hostage!"

"Who's Mordecai?" asked Rigby.

"Rigby! This is serious!" yelled Margaret in between sobs. "Mordecai needs our help! You were once his best friend! Both of you may not know it but Mordecai needs you! Please Rigby!"

"After what he did to me?!" refused Rigby. "I don't think so. In fact, I'd rather let that ungrateful leotard fuck die!"

"Fuck you then!" yelled Margaret. She pressed the end button and threw her phone sobbing helplessly.

**At Rigby's**

Rigby clicked the end button and sat down with a mountainful of food.

"Who was that?" asked Eileen.

"It was Margaret." said Rigby. "Apparently that idiot Mordecai is being held hostage by CJ."

"What?!" gasped Eileen.

"Like I even care?" said Rigby.

"Rigby!" Eileen yelled. She then slapped him on the face. "I don't care if you hate him or not! I ain't gonna let you let him die! Now you're gonna save him or your ass is out of here! In fact, I'm taking this!" Eileen swiped Rigby's food.

"What the hell Eileen!" complained Rigby.

"Get up!" yelled Eileen. Rigby listened. "Move!" demanded the mole. The raccoon moved. Eileen smiled. "I love being a girl." she said. She then followed Rigby out of her house. Eileen got into the drivers seat. She started the car. "I gotta call Margaret. I need to know where CJ is taking Mordecai."

"What's the point?" asked Rigby. "I doubt CJ told Margaret where she was taking Mordecai."

"It's worth a shot." said Eileen. She then dialed Margaret's number. Margaret picked up still crying.

"Hello?" said Margaret between sobs.

"Margaret! It's Eileen." said Eileen. "Just calm down. I forced Rigby to save Mordecai. I'm heading to your house to pick you up."

"Ohhh thank you so much!" thanked Margaret.

"Anything for a sister." said Eileen. "We'll be here in 15 minutes. Don't worry Margaret, Mordecai will be fine."

**At the park**

Dipper and Mabel were waiting for customers at the snack bar.

"How much longer?" asked Dipper.

"Two more hours." replied Mabel.

"Two more hours?" complained Dipper. "Fuck!"

"Hey." said Mabel. "Want some candy?"

"Ehhh..." refused Dipper. "No thanks."

"Come on Dipper" said Mabel. "You have to have candy on this shift."

"Nah." said Dipper.

"Dude." said Mabel. "Candy."

"Fine." said Dipper. The duo then munched on the candy. Dipper gave a weird look. "I think there's something wrong with the candy." said Dipper. "It tastes funny"

"What?" wondered Mabel. "Oh yeah! That's because I put drugs in it." Dipper was shocked.

"What?!" yelled Dipper. "What did you put in?!"

"It's just a little marajuana." said Mabel. "It's just a little marajuana."

"Ohhh good." said Dipper. "I'm fine then"

"Oh no wait!" exclaimed Mabel. "Haha! Don't worry, Dipper. I didn't put any weed in this candy. It was Smile Dip!" Dipper spat out the candy.

"What?!" he yelled. "Smile Dip?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Look Dipper," said Mabel. "what's done is done. You might as well just accept it and let the trip take it's course." Dipper sighed.

"Well when is this shit supposed to kick in?" asked Dipper as he morphed into the Big Dipper. Mabel grinned.

"Right fucking now!" exclaimed Mabel as she morphed into purple bird very similar to Mordecai.

**Meanwhile**

Eileen and Rigby arrived at Mordecai and Margaret's house. She knocked on the door. Margaret came out.

"Eileen!" exclaimed Margaret. She then hugged her best friend. "We have to go now!"

"Let's go." said Eileen. The girls entered the car. Eileen drove off. Their search for Mordecai has just begun.

* * *

**End of Chapter 10. That part with Dipper and Mabel at the snack bar refers to J.G. Quintel's college short. "2 in the AM PM" Credit goes to J.G. Quintel. Chapter 11 is on it's way**


	11. Chapter 11: The Siege of the Park

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?**

* * *

**The Siege of the Park**

_Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe._

**-H.G. Wells**

* * *

Mordecai was driving through the park gates with CJ still pointing the gun at his head.

"You know you're not gonna get away with this." said Mordecai.

"Oh I just might." said CJ. "Stop here." Mordecai halted. Lil Gideon climbed into the car. "I got him Lil Gideon." said CJ in victory.

"Excellent." congratulated Lil Gideon. "We just need to get Mabel. I don't care if we have to destroy the park. We will find her."

"Don't you dare hurt Mabel!" yelled Mordecai. "She's only a kid! She doesn't deserve to be held hostage by some lunatic obsessed with her!"

"Well Mordecai." said Lil Gideon. "Is that all you got?"

"He's a weakling." said CJ. "I'm gonna make him a man tonight!"

"Oh shit." said Mordecai. "Someone help me." Mordecai drove to the park.

"Get out!" said CJ. "Benson! Come out here or else!" Benson walked out.

"Mordecai?" wondered Benson.

"That's right Benson!" said CJ. "I've got Mordecai! Lil Gideon planted bombs in the basement! Bring out Mabel! In fact, bring out all of your workers! Lil Gideon wants Mabel!"

Benson nodded. He came inside.

"Guys, we're in trouble." said Benson. "Mordecai is being held hostage by CJ."

"You mean that cloud girl?" asked Skips.

"Yeah. We have to surrender Mabel."

"What?!" asked Mabel. "Why?!"

"CJ says that a boy named Lil Gideon requests your presence." replied Benson.

"Why does it matter?!" asked Mabel. "Mordecai doesn't work here anymore!"

"Let the little prick die Benson." said Jeremy.

"I'm not letting Mordecai die!" yelled Benson. "The park is in trouble! CJ said that Lil Gideon has planted bombs in the basement! We have to surrender! Lets go or you're all gonna die! Literally!" All the park workers left the house. CJ smiled.

"All is going well." said CJ. "I think it's time to reveal what my true intentions are."

"True intentions?!" asked Benson.

"Here's Mordecai." said CJ releasing Mordecai. "Lil Gideon, destroy it."

"NO!" screamed Benson. Lil Gideon pressed the detonate button on the controller and the house exploded immediately. Everyone ran for it. CJ and Lil Gideon nodded.

"Open the portal!" commanded CJ "It's time to rebuild Exit 9B!" Lil Gideon opened the portal. A highway came out starting to build leading to the portal leading to Exit 9B. "I was requested by a certain someone to rebuild Exit 9B. Garret Bobby Ferguson Jr. may not have succeeded but I will! All of the defeated enemies from both here AND Gravity Falls will come back from beyond the grave to destroy you all!" Every villain from both _Regular S__how _and _Gravity Falls _came out of the portal. "Ladies and gentleman! Put your hands together for these guys! They're here to destroy you!" Garret Bobby Ferguson and Garret Bobby Ferguson Jr. both came out of Exit 9B together.

"You just set the universal record for 'Most Elaborate Plan' CJ." said Garret Bobby Ferguson.

"I will destroy the park!" yelled Tyrone. (Dipper's double) "I will destroy it for you Wendy!"

"You wish Tyrone!" yelled Wendy.

"Destroy this place and take the workers hostage!" yelled CJ. Tyrone grabbed Wendy, Lil Gideon grabbed Mabel, Giant Susan grabbed Benson, Klorgbane the Destroyer grabbed Skips, Iacedrom and Ybgir grabbed Pops, Robbie grabbed Dipper, Party Pete grabbed Thomas, Skull Punch grabbed Muscle Man and High Five Ghost, the Gnomes grabbed Grunkle Stan and Soos, and The Hammer and The Night Owl grabbed Chad and Jeremy. CJ walked up to Mordecai. "Now, where were we?" asked CJ.

"Right here!" yelled a voice. "Get away from my bro!" It was Rigby with Margaret and Eileen.

"Rigby!" called out Mordecai.

"I've got your back dude." said Rigby. "I've got some allies that can help. Come on guys!" A car appeared. It contained Death, Gary, Techmo, and the God of Basketball. The Guardians of Eternal Youth, the baby ducks and The Lemon Chef followed."

"Word dude." said Mordecai.

"ATTACK!" yelled CJ. Every villain from both shows started attacking the heroes. Each of the park workers broke free and attacked the villains. Allies of Dipper, Mabel and the Gravity Falls crew showed up to defend their friends. CJ grabbed Lil Gideon who still had Mabel and floated in the air and left the fight. Mordecai and Rigby ran towards The Urge and the blonde men and attacked them. Skips called for his ultimate weapon, The Fists of Justice to fight Klorgbane the Destroyer. Muscle Man and High Five Ghost started fighting Skull Punch, Pops started fighting Iacedrom and Ybgir, Dipper and Robbie were at a fighting standoff, Wendy and Tyrone exchanged punches, Benson dodged from Giant Susan, Grunkle Stan, and Soos fought the gnomes, Thomas started fighting Party Pete, and Chad and Jeremy worked together to fight The Hammer and The Night Owl. Mordecai and Rigby defeated The Urge and the blonde men.

"Mordecai!" yelled Rigby. "I wanna talk!"

"Not now dude!" replied Mordecai. "We have to fight! We need to find CJ and Lil Gideon and save Mabel before it's too late!" The duo interacted for the first time in a year.

"First off dude." started Rigby. "Bros?" Mordecai smiled.

"Bros." agreed Mordecai. The duo shook hands. "Now let's defeat CJ and Lil Gideon and save Mabel!" Mordecai and Rigby ran by as every hero and villain from both shows continued their showdown. Dipper followed.

"Wait for me!" yelled Dipper. "I wanna help you save my sister!"

"The more the merrier dude." said Rigby. The trio rushed to save Mabel.

* * *

**End of Chapter 11. Chapter 12 will be the chapter that ends it all. It'll be here soon.**


	12. Chapter 12: Catalyst

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Like a judge with his gavel.**

* * *

**Catalyst  
**

_In any story, the villain is the catalyst. The hero's not a person who will bend the rules or show the cracks in his armor. He's one-dimensional intentionally, but the villain is the person who owns up to what he is and stands by it._

**-Marilyn Manson  
**

* * *

Mordecai, Rigby, and Dipper sprinted as fast as they could to save Mabel's life. The park was tearing apart and there was nothing that they can do about it. Everything was destroyed. People were dying. War is raging.

"Dude! Hurry!" yelled Dipper.

"We're trying!" yelled Mordecai. They found the cart. "The cart!" The trio climbed into the cart.

"Step on it!" yelled Rigby. Mordecai stepped on it and the cart sprang like a bullet flying from a gun chamber. Mordecai was determined to save Mabel's life. Meanwhile, CJ and Lil Gideon were observing the chaos.

"We've done well." said CJ.

"Let me go!" cried Mabel.

"Now now my precious." said Lil Gideon. "I've finally got you. Now kiss me."

"I'll never kiss you!" screamed Mabel.

"Release me CJ." said Lil Gideon. CJ released him and Mabel. Lil Gideon then punched Mabel. She squealed as she was hit.

"STOP!" screamed Dipper. "This ends NOW! LET HER GO LIL GIDEON!"

"You think that pointless screaming is gonna make me release her?" asked Lil Gideon. "It won't."

"CJ, this has to stop!" yelled Mordecai. "You're destroying everything!"

"You're the reason of this Mordecai!" yelled CJ. "Why wouldn't you date me?!"

"I told you already!" said Mordecai. "I love Margaret! You're obsessed with me! CJ, I have to be cruel when I tell you this but me and you is never gonna happen! I'm gonna marry Margaret! She's my true love! If you can't accept that, then too bad!" CJ frowned sadly.

"How could you say that?" asked CJ softly.

"I'm being truthful!" said Mordecai.

"This is not fair!" CJ cried. She started to turn black. Lightning bolts started flashing. She turned into a hurricane cloud. Wind was blowing at category 5 hurricane speed. Violent rain poured down. The wind was destroying everything. CJ spoke in a booming voice. "**I WILL HAVE ****YOU MORDECAI!**" screamed CJ. Dipper and Lil Gideon exchanged punches while this was all happening.

"Give up?" asked Lil Gideon.

"No!" replied Dipper. "I will save my sister!"

"You're just a kid." taunted Lil Gideon. "All you are is a stupid kid." Dipper got furious. "Mabel will always think of you as an immature brat!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Dipper. He then punched Lil Gideon in the gut. Lil Gideon collapsed on the ground. Dipper stomped on his hand. Lil Dipper screamed in pain. Dipper grabbed Lil Gideon. "Never come back!" demanded Dipper. Lil Gideon nodded. Dipper put him down and Lil Gideon ran away crying. "Run Mabel!" yelled Dipper. Mabel ran for it. CJ continued to rage.

"What are we gonna do dude?!" yelled Mordecai.

"I don't know!" yelled Rigby.

"Wait." realized Mordecai. "The only way to stop CJ is to get the document to stop Exit 9B."

"How?" asked Rigby. "There is no other copy!"

"Hmm hmm." said Mordecai. He then took out the copy of the document. "Hey CJ!" yelled Mordecai.

"**WHAT?!**" screamed CJ.

"You're exit has been canceled!" yelled Mordecai. He revealed the document. It floated into the air and bolted into Exit 9B. The interstate as well as all the villains began to get sucked away.

"**NOOOOOOO!**" screamed CJ in defeat. She began to get sucked into the exit. Lil Gideon was getting sucked in as well.

"CJ!" yelled Lil Gideon. "We failed!"

"I know!" yelled CJ.

"I'll be back Mabel!" yelled Lil Gideon.

"I'll be back Mordecai!" yelled CJ as the two of them were sucked into Exit 9B. After the villains were gone, Exit 9B disappeared. The park was a complete mess. The house was in debris and every bit of the park was destroyed.

"Mordecai! Rigby!" yelled Benson. "Come." The duo walked up to Benson.

"What's up Benson?" asked Mordecai.

"Look, you guys saved the park. We need some extra help. How would you two like your jobs back?"

"What?" said a surprised Mordecai. "You mean?"

"Welcome back you guys." said Benson. For the first time, Benson smiled at Mordecai and Rigby. He walked away. Dipper and Mabel walked up to the duo.

"Hey guys." said Dipper.

"Hey Dipper." said both Mordecai and Rigby.

"Thanks for helping me save Mabel." thanked Dipper. I appreciate it.

"No problem Dipper." said Mordecai.

"So does stuff like this happen all the time?" asked Dipper.

"Oh yeah." said Mordecai. "All the fucking time. It never stops."

"Oh well." said Dipper. "It's good to be home." Dipper and Mabel walked away. Margaret and Eileen walked up to Mordecai and Rigby.

"It's good to see you two get along again." said Margaret.

"Yeah." said Mordecai. "In fact, I missed chillin with my bro."

"I missed you too man." said Rigby. They high fived and laughed.

"So dude guess what?" asked Mordecai.

"What?" Rigby replied.

"I fucked Margaret!" Mordecai said proudly. Margaret blushed.

"OOOOOHHHHH!" the duo yelled.

* * *

**That's all. Review and tell me what you think. Peace out!**


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